Life is a tapestry of stories, and mine is no exception. Through infatuations, sacrifices, and a happy love marriage, I’ve journeyed toward where I am today—a fulfilling family life blessed by God, my parents, and Gurus.
Recently, my wife suggested that I write about the eligibilities for marriage. Is it about having a stable job, money, or other material accomplishments? Or is there something deeper? Here’s my perspective.
Marriage Eligibility 20-30 Years Ago
In the past, marriage eligibility seemed to revolve around age, stability, and family priorities. A boy typically married at 24, and a girl at 21.
I was 26 when I got married, following my younger sister’s marriage a year earlier. At the time, I was working at Hewlett-Packard, earning ₹50,000 per month, with an EMI of ₹20,000 on a house in my hometown. Life seemed settled on paper, but looking back, I realize that emotional maturity is a far greater requirement for marriage than just a stable income or assets.
The Little Hearts Story: A Teenage Memory
Let me share a story from my teenage years. Back in 1996, as a 16-year-old computer lab assistant at IGNOU, I was an introverted tech enthusiast. My interactions with girls were minimal—partly due to my reserved nature and partly due to shyness.
During that time, a medical student named Sahana Begam attended our summer computer classes. On the last day of class, I felt an impulse to gift her a packet of Little Hearts biscuits—symbolic of my innocent infatuation. But before I could act, the bus left, and with it, that fleeting story of youthful innocence.
ps: Well, my teenage kids, wife and mother would be reading these stories. 🙂
My Love Story: From Friendship to Forever
Fast forward a decade, and I married my best friend, my love, and my life partner—sent by God as my second mother. Over the years, she has been my steadfast support, and now our daughter fills that nurturing role as well.
Marriage is an evolution of understanding. Before marriage, we often showcase our best selves. After marriage, with commitments and vows, the “other side” of us emerges—not to disappoint but to reveal our full, authentic selves.
Looking back at my 18 years of marriage, I see that I wasn’t entirely mature when I tied the knot. While I had the financial stability, I lacked the emotional preparation needed to take on the role of a supportive husband. Families played a crucial role in bridging those gaps, for which I am ever grateful.
Marriage in the Era of Social Media
In our early days of marriage, the internet was a luxury. Social media platforms like Facebook and YouTube existed, but poor bandwidth limited their usage. Today, in the age of 5G, even unborn babies might soon be watching videos on their parents’ phones!
This surge in connectivity has brought new challenges to relationships. The distractions of social media and the pressures of maintaining an online persona often overshadow the essential qualities needed for a successful marriage.
The Real Question: Can You Cook a Dish of Life Together?
A common question parents still ask potential brides is, “Do you know how to cook?” While this may sound outdated or even offensive in modern times, the underlying sentiment carries wisdom.
Cooking requires patience, timing, and care—qualities essential for building a successful marriage. It’s not about making a meal but about having the emotional maturity to “cook” a fulfilling life together, blending understanding, humility, and love.
What Matters Most: Emotional Maturity
In 2024, I believe the most critical eligibility for marriage isn’t a job, wealth, or social status. Instead, it’s about emotional readiness. Can you:
- Show patience and understanding?
- Support your partner during challenges?
- Demonstrate humility and care?
- Commit to never giving up on your family?
Material stability can be built over time, but emotional maturity lays the foundation for a thriving marriage.
Closing Thoughts
Marriage is a lifelong journey, not just a milestone. It’s about finding someone who shares your values, dreams, and commitment to building a life together. So, if you’re preparing for marriage, focus on emotional readiness, as it is the true cornerstone of a happy union.
ஆற்றின் ஒழுக்கி அறனிழுக்கா இல்வாழ்க்கை
நோற்பாரின் நோன்மை உடைத்து.
The householder dedicated to duty and to aiding ascetics on their path of penance endures more than they do.§
